I've been impatient this week. In my defense, I've been feeling pretty awful. I'm getting to the end of this pregnancy journey and it is taking a toll on me physically. And I'm exhausted. I've had many "get this baby out of me" moments and sometimes even 3 weeks sounds like a long time to wait. But, it is a small price to pay for what is to come.
I just got done reading the blog of a friend who has struggled with infertility for over 2 years. I feel like I got a tiny taste of that struggle when it took us over a year to get pregnant, then experienced a loss, before getting our wonderful baby boy in my belly. I remember month after month after month of disappointment - often coupled with anger and bitterness you try to fight. I haven't forgotten that feeling. You can imagine how foolish I felt, sitting here feeling impatient that my baby is AT MOST 33 days away from me (if I do go 2 weeks late)... when I am reminded that there are people who would give anything to be in my shoes.
When we were trying for a baby, I would often say that I didn't care if I knew having a baby was 3 years and thousands of dollars away - it was the unknown month after month that was so difficult. It is easy find a reason to be patient when you have a countdown, like I do. But I just feel for those of you who long for motherhood in your hearts and struggle every day with when and how that will ever happen.
So - I apologize for my impatience. I can wait 33 days.
Know that those of you who are still waiting for a countdown are in my prayers.