November 24, 2011

Surprise!!

It is October 25.  I've been feeling a bit "off" for a few days.  Extra cranky maybe.  Tired... exhausted, really.  But I've had a sick baby, so that accounts for that, right?  Oh, and I'm STARVING.  But, I'm still nursing... and sometimes this appetite gets out of control.  

But it is "that time"... and someone isn't showing up.  You know who I mean {Aunt Flow}.  But of course I've always been irregular.  I could have my dates off.  And it would be a very off chance that we'd be... ya know.  BUT... just to prove that little nagging thought in my head wrong, I got a pregnancy test.  

I tell myself on the morning of October 25, if "you know who" hasn't shown up I'll take a test.  So, I did.  That morning, I grabbed the test, did my thing, and stuck it on the dresser while I went to get Jude up for the day.  I start our morning nursing session and take a look at it.  And wouldn't ya know...


You might remember my complete shock when we found out we were pregnant with Jude.  But we were trying.  We had been for over a year, actually.  So the idea of being pregnant was one that I was expecting sooner or later.  My shock this time absolutely does not compare.  TOTALLY FLOORED.  

I never understood people who weren't completely thrilled when they found out they were pregnant.  We tried so long with Jude, I just couldn't wrap my mind around not being excited about a baby.  But now I get it.  I think my first thought was "oh crap" {I hate that that was my first reaction} And I am full of fear.  We're still nursing and that means I might have to wean... and I'm not ready for that.  I just bought brand new non-maternity clothes.  What about Jude?  Will he feel second-best or jealous?  Crap, they're going to be 15 MONTHS APART!!  I had a mini big-time freak-out.  I called Jordan in and just showed him the test.  "No way!!".  Yes way.  

It is a weird place to be in.  It wasn't too long ago that an announcement like mine would have cut like a knife while we spent over a year trying to get pregnant with Jude.  I remember I honestly did not understand how people "accidentally" got pregnant after I had everything perfect month after month after month.  It's painful for some to hear these announcements.  I don't want to just let that acknowledgement slide.

It still has taken some time to sink in.  I had a lot of fear at first.  Mostly about how this would change my relationship with Jude.  But after spending some time in prayer, I have come to a few realizations.

1.  Fear is not of the Lord.

2. The Lord gave me this precious child... NOT by accident.

3. My children are not mine... but the Lord's... and He will give me all I need to be a good parent to both of them.

4. Siblings are an amazing gift!

5. My kids are going to keep growing up... and I can't stop them.


So, now I am super excited.  I always said that two weeks after Jude was born I was ready to do it all over again, and that's true.  Somehow, I just freaked out when it happened.  But I can't wait to add to our family and for Jude to have a little brother or sister so close in age!  I will say that pregnancy and all of it's wonderful symptoms are a lot more fun and easier when you aren't wrestling an almost 8-month-old most of the day!  Thank the Lord for Zofran. :-)  My doctor has kept a very close eye on me since first trimester is always kinda scary for me.  Thank goodness we've seen a healthy heartbeat twice and everything is looking perfect!

Due date... June 30ish. :-)  It's about to be a wild ride folks.

14 comments:

  1. Love all of your "realizations", honey...I can personally attest to all of them! (And yes, you can't stop them from growing up, though I still try.:-) The amazingly precious gifts you, Jordan, Jude, and new Baby G are to me is a picture of the gifts your kids will be to you in the future. Totally priceless. I love you so much! (And am here for a mommy break anytime.:-)

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  2. BTW, as usual, the pic of Jude with Baby G is adorable.:-)

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  3. I think my first thought would be 'oh crap' too!! You're a great momma, though, you'll be amazing! Congratulations!!!

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  4. How exciting Lindsey!! It is so fun! And if I can offer some comfort or just a bit of relation to you, my kids are 14 1/2 months apart and I DID NOT QUIT NURSING! You can do it if you want to (and if it's not too painful) but I actually tandem nursed for almost a year! So it is do-able, and I can talk more about it if you're ever interested and feeling guilty about having to ween Jude before you're ready. As for the rest of it, congratulations! Babies are such blessings and I LOVE having my 2 so close together! I wish you a happy, healthy second pregnancy!

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  5. Congratulations! Wow I cannot imagine! Our boys are just days apart, and I think I'd have the same reactions you did. Ultimately though, what a blessing!! :)

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  6. LOVED reading this Lindsy! Congrats to you and your family! I remember thinking some of your same thoughts when we got pregnant the second time around...and "oh crap" was probably one of them; you're not alone! Looking at it now, i LOVE having my kids somewhat close (if you consider 20mo close) - they seriously can be best of friends already [at times]. Hope that things continue to go well!

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  7. Congrats! I was wondering when you were going to make an announcement! My girls are 18 months apart and I think it is a perfect spacing...they will have a built in best buddy for their whole lives! I would love to have #3 be a similar age difference, but my last pregnancy was really rough and I was only taking care of one toddler...can't imagine doing it with two!
    Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!

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  8. "Oh Crap" is a normal reaction to an unexpected pregnancy. You have gone through all the emotions to come to accept it. Yes they will be close in age but that has its blessings as well. 1. They will be best friends, 2. They will be in school together, 3. You may be able to potty train together, 4. If it is a boy you have his clothes already, 5. They will get to share a room. (forever if its a boy, for a while if its a girl) 6. They will always have someone to play with, 7. There will be an extra set of eyes on them as they will be watching each other and informing you when one doesn't do as they should, 8. More hands to help around the house (when a little older :)), 9. They will have drivers Ed close together so you will know what to expect when #2 starts driving. 10. When Christmas come this time next year you will have 2 little boys excited to see what is under the tree, (OK 1 excited and trying to teach the 6 month old what it all means) Congratulations, I am very happy for you all.

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  9. well, Lindsay, crazy as it sounds, I am kind of HOPING to space ours about that close in age. sound wild and wonderful to me! I love your conclusions: so full of truth. you are going to rock it. but some days you will feel like a mess, and that will be okay, too.

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  10. Oh wow, this is incredible! haha :) I have been following your story and blog for quite a while now, and this news is just so crazy! I love it.

    We have been trying for children right when we got married 3 years ago, only to find out I have a thyroid problem that I'm now on a path to healing. If we eventually get pregnant, I can imagine after all the time, emotions, and struggle, if we were to get pregnant so "soon" after again, I'd probably have the same reaction as you ;) It would just seem so unreal and impossible for it to just happen like that.

    I am thrilled and overjoyed for you :) It will certainly be interesting, but you are right- God created life within you, certainly he can give you the strength to lean on to make it all work. I'll be praying for a safe and healthy pregnancy for you <3

    -Missina

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  11. Congratulations Lindsy! I'm so excited for you!!

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  12. Congratulations!!! What wonderful, exciting news! Such a blessing!

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  13. Whoa!! Congratulations! I love your honesty, and I love that you always go back and ground yourself in the Word. It's so refreshing. And Jude is going to LOVE having a sibling so close to his age, I'm convinced! Maybe not at first--but soon thereafter. =)

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  14. oh my goodness, congratulations!! how exciting :)

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