November 15, 2012

when my coffee is lukewarm

Sipping my lukewarm morning coffee, I hoped that if there was a smidge of caffeine in my cup of decaf that it would make it's way through my veins and wake me up.

I don't wish these days away, but the day when I have two children sleeping through the night will be a glorious day.

But watching my two little punkin boys reminds me of the sweet season we are in.  Jude not-so-gently grabbing Isaac by the face to lay a smacker right on him.  Isaac squealing with delight as he watches his brother run through the house flapping his arms like a duck.  Jude's vocabulary growing by the minute and his complete joy when we affirm what he's said.  Isaac just being a 4-month-old.

I think four months old is one of my very favorite ages.  I'm not entirely surprised I (whoops!) allowed myself to get pregnant when Jude was just six months old.  I adore the baby stage.  Absolutely adore it. But those babies turn into toddlers (who I LOVE) that begin to exercise their will and demands and this combination of baby-not-sleeping-through-the-night and my toddler-risk-taker-wild-man-testing-the-boundaries is what leaves me feeling run into the ground this morning.

And don't worry.  I'm fully aware that my body needs a break from being pregnant and I don't plan to have any sort of announcement in the next year (or so).

I sip my coffee slower.  Taking the moment in.  Watching my boys interact and remembering how desperate I was for them only a few years earlier.  God is good.  And I am challenged to take my mornings slower.  We have places to go, people to see.  But I want my boys to remember me as someone who was always present with them.  Fully present.  Not zoned out on my phone (guilty).  Not too much of a zombie to listen to what they're telling me (guilty).  But slowing down.  Looking them in the eye.  Being there.

I do hate being rushed, but I'm so often the one doing the rushing.

Thank you Lord for my sweet children.  For mornings I can sip my coffee.  For moments you sustain me so I can give enough.

Linking up with Just Write.

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