December 11, 2012

be the right kind of friend

You may not know this, but...

I'm married to a rock star.

Yes, it's true.

One of the absolute best lead guitarists there is, I'm certain.

Pre-kids I used to go to all the shows.  The bar and loud music thing is fun, but it's not really my thing. Ya know?  I'm an introvert homebody married to an outgoing extrovert.  I'm perfectly fine with a movie in, but I would always go.  Because it was his thing.  He bleeds music and needs it in a way I can only somewhat understand.  And I've always tried my hardest to be supportive, even when it cost time and money.

That's a thing about men (at least my man).  I think joining in their hobby is a sort of love language.  Being a part of his music spoke his love language.  So I always was.

But since having kids, I hadn't been able to be a part of this piece of his life.  Shows that start at 11 and kids that go to bed at 7 don't mix well.  I hadn't even met most of his new band members.

But, I have a friend who pushed me on this.  You should go, she said.  I'll even watch your kids.

My friend who, has two littles just like I do and was probably ready to crash the second she walked through my door to watch my kids, offered her time.  Because she valued the quality of my marriage.  Like a good friend should.

You should dress up for him, she also said.  So I tried to find something without snot or spit-up on it.  I put on the big earrings and my favorite scarf and curled my hair.  And I was off.

It's so so important to have friends that push you to make your marriage better.  Who encourage you to speak your spouses love language.  Who doesn't just turn my struggles or frustration into an opportunity to complain and bash.  But goes back to who and what real love is.  Pointing me back to Christ.

Marriage is hard enough without friends encouraging negative attitudes.  And friends, we must protect it with all of our might.

In the recent weeks, I've learned of too many personal friends of mine getting separated, divorced, or stories of infidelity.  My heart is so heavy in this way.  Satan hates marriage, that's for sure.

And I was so very encouraged by my friend who took it upon herself to make sure I was able to be a good wife.  And I felt encouraged to be the same kind of friend back.

Friends don't encourage friends to talk bad about their husbands.

Friends don't encourage friends to entertain thoughts that tear apart oneness.

But friends fight for their friends marriage alongside them.

And a wife goes to her husband's show because of it.

Thank you, Molly!! :-)

*linking up with Emily at Chatting at the Sky for Tuesdays Unwrapped

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