January 30, 2013

dear self.

Dear self,

Take a step back.  And don't take today so seriously.  Breathe.

Today is not a failure.  Just a part of the journey.

Surrender the day.  Accept grace.  And keep walking.

So, dinner wasn't on the table... hardly at all.  And maybe it consisted of graham crackers, cheese, fruit, and lunch meat.  They ate.  They filled their bellies.  Probably more so than if you had made that delicious chicken curry you intended to make.  Such is life.

Those convictions you feel to let go of some things.  To say no.  Pay attention to those.  And maybe give yourself more room to breathe.  Unplug more.  Say yes to those sweet blue eyes more.  Get on the floor and don't care about the dirt more.  But don't get down on yourself because you didn't do it today. This journey has just begun and as they grow, so will you.

That time you put Jude in a time out, mostly motivated by frustration and exhaustion?  It's okay.  Don't dwell on it and don't feel guilty.  Just live and learn.  Accept grace.  And maybe next time put yourself in a time out first.

Don't get your mind so wrapped up in the future.  It is unknown and always will be.  There is no predicting what will happen, what will be best, or what is even worth your energy thinking about.  Focus on what you know to be true.  Even the birds of the air do not sow and reap and your heavenly Father feeds them.  You will also be fed.  You will be given what you need for the moment.  You won't find grace and peace in your worry.  You will find grace and peace in your now.

Self, you are a good mom.  A good wife.  A good friend.  A good person in general.  You know this.  Don't believe the lies that sneak up.  Those little bouts of insecurity.  Remember that even most important than each of these things, you are a daughter of the most high King.  You have an inheritance in eternity.  And you are deeply loved.  Deeply.  This is where you will find your value.  This is where you will find your peace.  Your purpose.  Drink deeply of the Word of God.  Find a way to give the first fruits of your day devoted to knowing Him more.  I think you will greatly benefit by getting your day started in that way.

And go make your husband a sandwich for lunch tomorrow.  You know it blesses him.



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