January 22, 2013

when that Mama-bear side shows up


Today was the first real snow of winter.  The kind where it actually sticks to the ground and makes crazy people like my hubby giddy and realistic people like me terrified of the roads.  

In all honesty, I should have just stayed home.  But I hadn't seen my Monday morning Bible study gals in weeks due to the sickness that overcame my boys, and I was feeling antsy to see another four walls.  

And of course, it's never as bad as my mind makes it out to be.  Suck it up, Lindsy.

Only it was that bad.

Getting on the eastbound highway, cars are going 10 miles per hour.  I soon see, and count, ten cars on the side of the road and in the ditch going westbound.  Soon to follow are about ten other cars spinning, crashing, and flying through the median.  Including a semi which was skidding perpendicular to the road and a pickup truck plowing through the median as if it were another lane.

I was shaking.  Praying fiercely that God would keep us safe.  Probably terrifying my kids as I sternly lectured each car to stay the heck away from me.

All was fine for us.  I took the next exit off the highway and slowly drove the rest of the way home.  Missed my Bible study gals, but arriving home safely was enough accomplishment for me to consider the day a success.  We celebrated with a Thomas the train movie and hot cocoa.

Being a Mama has revealed a protective mama-bear side to me.  I remember being pregnant with Jude and being absolutely livid while driving that people were being careless on the road.  Because I was pregnant and my body was doing its best to protect my child and anyone who would do anything to put my child at risk was going to hear from me.  

That same pregnant Mama-bear rage found me in the face of a guy who seemed to think it was a good idea to smoke weed while standing next to me at a concert.  Me, being large, hormonal, probably 33-34 weeks pregnant, and absolutely flabbergasted at this guys idiocy if he thought I was going to stand by and let my unborn child second-hand breathe in that poison.  Yes, he heard from me.

The hormones have calmed down, but not much has changed.  These little lives were given to me as a gift and I will passionately advocate for them.  Anything to keep them safe.  And one day, I know they will be the ones terrifying me with their own decisions.  But I don't have grace for those days yet, so we just won't think about that.    

But when you see me driving 25 miles per hour on the highway, know that it's because I love my babies.  

Okay, I'm not that slow.




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