March 12, 2013

when I choose to be brave

Self-confidence is a valued thing in our culture.  Know who you are and embrace it.  Don't care what other people think.  Be true to yourself.

Be a confident woman.

But is anyone really that confident in themselves when they are truly living boldly?  Taking risks?

Perhaps I am alone in this.  I'm willing to embrace it if I am.  But, I often find that in the areas of my life where I am the most passionate, I tend to experience the most fear.

There is that defeating little voice that says I'm not enough.  It breeds insecurity, saying, who cares about that?  Who do you think you are to do this?  Or simply, that's just dumb.

And it totally snuffs out my fire.  Instead of confidence and passion, I start to feel insecure and even embarrassed.

I start to believe that voice, if I'm not careful.

But what if hearing that voice doesn't mean I'm not qualified?  That what I am made of isn't enough?  Or that it is a just plain dumb thing to do?  What if it means that I need to jump?  Take that risk.  Write that blog post.  Take that job.  Say "no" to that one more thing.  Draft that book.  Be brave.

Fear is often part of the territory when it comes to being brave.  But if that thing that is stirring in my heart is a nudging from the Spirit... asking me to come alive and do what I was created to do, it is a risk I must take.  To express the parts of me that need to be said and need to be heard.  Then I don't need to be confident in myself, but I need to be confident that the one who created me has a plan that must be carried out.  He's telling me that I'm the one for the job.

If I'm seeking Him, there's little room left for insecurity.  For fear.  Because if I believe Him, I know he's got that covered.  Knowing who I am, first and foremost, as a daughter of the King.  With a voice and a message and a reason to be bold.

And we know that Satan has every reason to want to keep us from being bold, radical, in our lives.  He wants us to think that we must have it perfected and be confident in ourselves to have anything worth being bold for.  But in living out of ourselves, we will only run dry.

So, today, me taking the risk is mothering in grace and believing that (with His help) I am enough.  Taking that risk means that I'm going to trust that he has me writing these words here in this little internet space for a reason, and it is not something I should feel insecure or timid about.  Taking that risk means taking my dreams to Him and not being afraid to see them come alive.  It means that I should not be afraid to be my unique self, with all my passions and callings.

What is the voice of insecurity saying to you?  Chances are, that voice isn't conviction, but fear.  And chances are, this is an area you may need to stand in the face of fear and choose to be bold.

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