October 10, 2013

day 10 :: comparison

Earlier this summer, I read the book So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore.  It was a fabulous, which spoke right to me in a season where I felt... well... insecure.  I was making huge life decisions, such as where we would live, and was struggling with feeling like my worth or value depended on something outside of me.

Which, in reality, it does.

It depends on God's adoption of me.  A daughter of the king.

That is where I hope and pray I find my value day in and day out.  I need to be honest, this is hard work for me.  I fall prey to comparison and the but they did this and they did that game when it comes to deciding what is best for me.  I am not quick to be quiet.  Not quick to wear the blinders to even Christian culture in order to hear of God's best for me.

But that is not where I intended to go here.  This book gave an example of mind over matter that I have found so freeing.  Now I understand that I might sound like a crazy person to those who don't struggle with comparison and insecurity (there must be someone in the world who doesn't, right?), but in the name of freedom, I'm going to share this.

In so many words, Beth described the woman who walks in a room and immediately sizes herself up to every other woman in there.  Physically.  Spiritually.  Emotionally.  I do this.  Beth did this.  You might.  You kind of quickly evaluate where you stand and you either feel good, or you feel down.  You  see that you may be dressed more stylish that some, and it elevates yourself a bit.  But there's that person who you really admire spiritually, and God, if I could be more like her (really?).

This is the straight-up-raw-honesty folks.  I do this.

The first problem, is this is pride at. it's. core.  Acting as if the world revolves around me.  The hierarchy of spirituality or attractiveness or something revolves around where I'm at.  And where I stand is all that matters.

You see how ridiculous this is when I say it out loud?

This hinders us so much from loving well.  From being confident in our identity in Christ.  From stepping out in faith and boldness to pursue relationship, encourage other women, or step alongside the outcast.

I now see this.

Beth's advice?  Just stop it.  

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

The very best thing about identifying these ridiculous habits of comparison and pride, our ability to see it in the moment and put an end to it.  Cut your mind off from going there, and ask for the Lord's eyes to see all of His children.  We all need him desperately.  Cute skinny jeans, boots, and sweater or sweatpants.  Eloquent speaker or not.  Confident and bold and captivating, or shy, reserved, and quiet.  We all need Him.

In comparison to His son, that is the only place we stand.

So stop the ridiculousness.  Let your mind be transformed by truth.  Make sure you are filling your mind with the things that are good and trustworthy and honorable.  Truth-reading.  Reject the comparison.  The self-deprecation.  Or the self-elevation.  Whatever it may be, we need Jesus.  End of story.

I find so so so much freedom here.

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