October 9, 2013

day 9 :: fear

Today was the day we swapped diapers for underwear for the big boy.  I had a lot of anxiety leading up to it for some reason.  I put it off and kept making excuses.  But when it came down to it, I did it like I do many things.  Just pull the plug one day and say, "okay, that's it!"

So, today was that day.

It went much better than I anticipated.  The day wasn't without accidents, but he had a cluster of about 4 accidents shortly after drinking a huge cup of juice, which they said to do to give them opportunity to go.  I guess he had to go TOO bad.  But other than that little cluster in the afternoon, he was dry.  That, and the time he did a #2 in his underwear.  How is that for mommy talk?  

Seriously, I don't know what I was afraid of.  It's potty training.  Accidents happen.  Life goes on.  I imagine the worst.  As if it is a slow-mo NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! every time he doesn't make it to the potty.  That's not how it goes.  It's always fine.  And he will learn.

But it kind of got me thinking about how I approach things that are different or new.  It is often with anxiety.  With imagining the worst.  I just pray that when it comes to being bold about my kids, I choose to be bold and not fear.  

Truth is, accidents will always happen in life.  Decisions will not always be the best ones, but they are the ones we make.  And God can use our mess to bring glory to Him, if we let him.

I want the kind of life that isn't afraid of taking risks.  That boldly steps out in faith into whatever he has next.  Trusting.  Instead of fearing the worst.  Because, even if the worst happens, there is still grace.  There is still hope.  There is still a God who stoops the lowest and he is found there.  

Don't let fear keep you captive.

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