In the recent months, I've been reading the book Desperate by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson. [Sidenote: These two ladies have been more of an encouragement to me as a Mama through their books that I can really say. They understand and communicate the struggle and blessing of motherhood better than any other I've read. Highly recommend.]
Sarah Mae is honest about her struggle with self-discipline, and this has been a consistent, embarrassing struggle for me. There are many times I feel like, hey, I'm an adult. I should just suck it up and do what needs to be done.
But the laundry still piles. The bathroom goes too long without getting cleaned. And the to-do list only seems to get longer.
I'm running all day, but sometimes I worry that I must be lazy if I struggle to get some of these basic things done.
I feel like much of my struggle revolves around home-making. Running the household. And since I would consider my job title to be Mother and Homemaker for the next 18 plus years, this is an area I really would like to improve in.
Sarah Mae talks about self discipline and in one chapter she just says simply "resolve to do it". I think she was talking about reading the Word every day, but this phrase "resolve to do it" just stuck with me.
Resolving to do something is being faithful in the things that are hard. It is saying, "this isn't easy for me, but it is important. And I'm committed." It is being steadfast.
And this, my friends, is my word for 2014.
I like the first two definitions especially. To be fixed in direction. A steadfast gaze. My prayer is that my eyes would be on eternal, kingdom things. I was telling my hubby tonight that I feel like comfort and distraction are two of the enemy's favorite tools on us in this western culture. I want to engage in the battle for hearts.
And to be firm in purpose, resolution, faith. There are a lot of areas that I want to be firm in purpose, or intentional, about. My marriage, my parenting, my scripture study, of course. Sometimes it is hard to be firm in purpose in these areas.
I want to consider what blesses my husband and be steadfast in those things. Clean socks. Dinner served. Waking up to have breakfast with him. It's the small things.
In my parenting, I want to resolve to slow down (and not feel guilty when I do). Read more. Yell less. Play often. Keep on praying for these little people under my roof.
And I want to develop a vision for homemaking and be intentional in what matters (laundry, food, ya know) and not be so hard on myself in the areas that truly can slide. I want to view it through the lens of blessing my family. What most blesses them? And be faithful in that.
Steadfast. One foot in front of the other. Small commitments to love and bless with purpose and intention. All while the gaze is fixed on the eternal. This is my prayer for 2014.