September 18, 2014
I suppose no adoption process is complete without ending up in tears at the secretary of state's office. This week has been a struggle. We've had some major paperwork drama in the adoption department and I've just found myself extremely frustrated. And exhausted.
I knew this process was most likely not going to be a smooth and easy ride. Everyone told me to expect bumps. Expect resistance. Expect battle.
I have a little one in China somewhere, and even though I don't know what she looks like or her name, I have a Mama Bear instinct that is already kicking in. And it feels like I am fighting for my child.
While I am most definitely frustrated with having to deal with the consequences of issues that arise, I'm mostly frustrated by the lack of peace I have when I get all worked up like this.
There is so much more to this battle than what is on the surface. There is a battle of flesh, but there is a battle of spirit. I know that Satan hates redemption. He hates adoption. And he thrives in chaos. Oh, how often I forget that my God is about peace. And that HE is sovereign.
That doesn't mean that I have to like what is going on. But it does mean that in everything, I can present my requests to the one true God, and claim a peace that passes understanding.
It is still a choice to surrender. The Lord wants our daughter home. I believe it. I don't believe it is for no reason that he called us to this. So, I'll trust in His ultimate plan and His timing. And if that means that it takes longer than I would like, so be it. Cuz, Lord knows I would have had her home yesterday. And if not, I still am so so very blessed. No matter what, I have every reason to live in gratitude. Heart, please don't forget that.
I posted something on instagram about this battle of paperwork I was dealing with, and one friend encouraged me, write it all down. Your daughter will want to hear about the battle for her soul one day.
It felt like a word from the Lord. Maybe not. But I need to hash this out instead of bottling it up. I'm an external processor and this is my online abode. So, my journey will be documented here. And as you read, I ask you to please pray. Pray for peace for my worried Mama heart.
Pray that the officer at the USCIS that we are assigned is gracious and has a passion for uniting families and will not be nit-picky about minor issues in our home study.
Pray that I'd remember to fight frustration with gratitude.
Pray for the health and safety and heart of our sweet China girl, who I believe has a beating heart somewhere on the other side of the world.
Adoption Timeline Update:
Home Study Approved - August 7, 2014
I800A mailed - August 25, 2014
Michigan Documents Certified - Sept 16, 2014
Discovered Home Study was a rough draft and contained no edits, so new home study printed and overnighted to USCIS (yes, this happened) - Sept 17, 2014