I only half meant it. Truth is, this season has been overwhelming and I clearly see that I have taken too much on my plate. Thus, the lack of updating here. But, the good news is that many of the projects I have had going on are ending, and so I am looking forward to a much more relaxed holiday season!
The most exciting news I have... we are finally DTC (dossier to China)!!!! Our LID (Log In Date) was officially two days ago on the 18th, which basically means we are completely eligible to be matched with a child. We are only waiting for our time to come.
The waiting is a hard lesson for me. It reminds me of the 2 week wait while trying to get pregnant... month after month, wondering if I'll get that positive test (or phone call!). The difference here is that I KNOW I will get that phone call some day. It just probably won't be for another 4-7 (or more) months. (That is the timeline we are looking at.) I feel in limbo and out of control, which is a common theme in adoption and parenting in general. But that waiting feeling makes me all squirmy and want to fight it. I keep finding things to be anxious about or things that I must want to change, because simply WAITING and being still, well, that's just too hard. But... just like I believe with all my heart that God allowed me to get pregnant and give birth to just the right boys he picked out for me, the same goes with our China baby. At just the right time, I will get that phone call about just the right baby for our family. I believe that. But patience is hard.
What's hard about waiting is that I forget that I am HERE and NOW. I am looking forward to the next thing, the next season, the next change. I can become obsessed with it to the point where I am not grateful for today. I'm conscious of this, and actively trying to change this. Being more present, and being intentional to remember and write down what I loved about today. I always want to be hopeful for the future, but live my today. Because, really, that is all that I am guaranteed.
In the meantime - we are having an auction to raise funds to bring our baby girl home!! Unfortunately, unlike giving birth, there is no health insurance that will cover the many expenses that come along with adoption. We are looking at a bill of over $30,000 to cover agency fees, home study fees, government processing fees, education fees, travel expenses, and more. We have saved up as much money as we can, but we still realize that we will not meet that $30,000 mark without help. We see this auction as a way to let our friends and family get involved in a fun, tangible way. It starts in a week, so go ahead and take a peak at what has been donated so far! We've been so blessed by so many friends stepping up and helping out.
If any of you are interested in donating, please email me (link should be to the right)! Otherwise, have fun shopping!!